Poem: January

January!
The first month of the year, so sadly necessary
And yet it stamps the joy out of us mercilessly
A month of plans and bans on things that make us merry
Baileys down the drain, no signs of cranberry

January!
Too cold to do things, please just leave me sedentary
A month of diets, no sugar, no Peri Peri
Fresh stabs at self-care, new hair and a bit less dairy
So many self improvements to the point it’s scary

January!
I swear to Christ it’s been eight weeks, where’s February?
God speed to those who gave up on confectionery
The Dry Jan club are looking lost and very wary
Counting down the days until that Bloody Mary

January!
I’ve lived a thousand lives in your cruel sanctuary
Some may defend you. I say: on the contrary
I think you might be my greatest adversary
For those reading with Jan birthdays — apologies.